Bonjour, etc. Comment ca va? Enchantee, I’m sure.
you do not understand what all these surplus elephants are doing to
our environment here in Africa.
realise how much flatulence - if I may be so bold - there is in just
one elephant? I know I can discuss such matters freely with you
because I saw you in Doctor in the House in 1953.
elephant lets off half-a-ton of methane gas a year! Five hundred
kilograms! (Don’t ask me how scientists weigh it but, indeed, they
are 70 000 elephants criss-crossing between Zimbabwe and Botswana.
If they are left to go on increasing - and elephants breed just like
rabbits except they huff and puff a bit more - will produce enough
methane gas to greenhouse the world.
because they have demolished the forests that used to sustain them,
they now have to live mostly off grass which produces in them a
degree of flatulence you’d not believe.
could, one day, blow a hole clean through the ozone layer. They
could turn your precious St Tropez into a tropical hellhole filled
with mosquitoes and rampaging government troops and crazed
of 70 000 elephants, living off grass, will release in one year, 35
000 tons of methane. When even a small herd passes through a wooded
area, yellow-eyed canaries fall out of the trees like ripe plums.
Elephants live 50 to 60 years. Thus, in a lifetime, this herd will
produce 1.7 million tons of gas!
Bearing in mind that methane, as a greenhouse gas, is 20 times more
efficient than carbon dioxide, these elephants are going to pass
into the atmosphere (if you will pardon moi) the equivalent of
30-million tons of carbon dioxide.
you have the problem of elephant dung. Well, YOU don’t because you
are fortunate enough to be sitting on the beach at St Tropez rubbing
dolphin-friendly sunblock on your bare whatsits. But WE do.
Seventy thousand elephants would leave more than 2 million tons of
le poop grand in the veld in just one year. And, if we don’t cull
them, the volume will increase by 5 percent per annum compounded.
you imagine 2 million tons of this stuff, compounded?
Imagine the methane arising there from?
Clarke came to South Africa in 1955 as a reporter
looking for trouble. He quickly found it by marrying
Lenka Babaya who claims she married him only because she
always wanted a simple surname. He skillfully fathered
two very beautiful daughters, Jenny and Julie, neither
of whom think he is in the least bit funny. Clarke’s
ambition is to become President of South Africa so that
he can introduce the death penalty for people who say,
"Is it?" every time one tells them something.
think, in a few years from now, how innocent people will be wading
about central Africa, knee-deep in elephant droppings! Imagine if
somebody were to carelessly strike a match.
mon petit epinard, I hope you now realise how misguided your
campaign against culling is.